Montgomery Advertiser: The Sunday Paper

Here is a look at the Sunday paper, taken out of its protective driveway condom and laid on the floor:

The Sunday Montgomery Advertiser

The Sunday Montgomery Advertiser

Looks like a newspaper, right?

Well, once you appreciate the heft of the thing, you start to unpack it. It’s a lot of news! The most important newspaper of the week! The heavy-hitting investigative journalism gets saved for the newspaper that costs the most, right? It’s the paper that has everything: news, opinions, sports, maybe some recipes, the all-important color Sunday comics, the obits, maybe a little booklet of some coupons.

Once you unpack the newspaper, this is what you get with all of the sections laid out individually:

Sunday paper deconstructed

Sunday paper deconstructed

Now, it is important to note that only the top 4 sections are actually content that counts as “news.” You’ve got two all-purpose “news” sections, a “Metro” news section, and a sports section. You could reasonably contend that the metro section is the most important because that’s the only section where you are getting local news that you couldn’t get from other sources. News about international relations? You can get those on, say, the Internet. Local reporting is only going to come from your local reporters.

The rest of this shit? Well, it turns out that the era of the coupon booklet has been replaced by the era of Store-Specific Advertising Circular. Not only do these not include discounts, they are not generally-applicable in the sense that manufacturers’ coupons are. They merely tell me about things happening in stores that I don’t shop at. And this is useless information destined directly for the recycle bin.

It is astonishing to strip the Sunday paper of all its advertising inserts. The reassuring heft and weight of the best newspaper of the week is reduced to an emaciated husk of a thing, a flimsy scrap for the cats to curl up on.

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5 responses to “Montgomery Advertiser: The Sunday Paper

  1. We subscribe for daily plus Sunday, and my wife is actually complaining that she doesn’t have enough newsprint to line the bird-cage!

    • Jay, an actual bird cage! That’s awesome. And are the advertising circulars not good liner? Does it have to be actual black and white newsprint? Does the glossy circular impair the birds’ excretion?

  2. That’s what the lady says. The colored inks in the advertising circulars harm the bird, she says. I”m not sure if she means the fumes from the inks, as there is a grille on the floor of the cage so the parrot does not actually touch the papers.

    At least this means that the newsprint doesn’t have to be recycled.

    Wanna bet on the Mayor’s latest recycling scheme? What is it, Number 134? While we’re at it, we can guess at when the Montgomery Mall police station is actually going to be completed. Every time I drive by it, the exterior looks worse.

  3. At least they print the BANKRUPTCIES every week. I get to read the names of all the DEADBEATS!

  4. Did you take a look at the Sunday front section last week (September 29)?

    Only one story, and that was about a church.

    With all the problems in this nation and the world–one story with a huge photo, about a church. Never seen a front page like that. Pathetic.

    One of my friends predicts that the Advertiser will soon be going to three-days-a-week, if it is still in business by the beginning of the new year.

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